Update 4/2/2014: APRIL FOOLS!
Since the invention of the motion picture camera, someone has been using it for naughty purposes. It seems that people with dirty minds just can’t resist the temptation of the moving image.
In my efforts to find as many 100+ year-old titles as are out there, I have encountered quite a few that got my imagination racing. So for this special April 1st edition of Century Films, here is a partial list, broken down by year. Since these are silents, you’ll have to provide the “bow-chicka-bow-bow” yourself:
As early as this, we get “Cockfight No. 2.” Note that porn titles have always like sequels.
This year, we get “Game of Balls,” as well as the classic “Interrupted Lovers.”
Things start taking off with “Sutro Baths, No. 1 & 2,” and the very naughty “Seminary Girls,” along with our first S&M title, “The Lover in the Bag.”
Brings us a sailor fantasy, “Collecting the Ship’s Laundry.”
Things get really racy now with “The Devil in a Convent.” Perhaps an inspiration for Ken Russell?
The nineteenth century rolls out with the fantasy “The Wizard, the Prince, and the Good Fairy” and the unusual “Going to Bed with Difficulties,” and an early lesbian fantasy “Eight Girls in a Barrel.”
The new century begins with “Trapeze Disrobing Act” and the first reflexive porn, “Photographing a Country Couple.”
In this year, there’s the rather depressing “Burlesque Suicide No. 2” as well as “Interrupted Bathers” and the truly raunchy “The Colonel’s Shower Bath.”
Here we have the infamous “Too Ardent Lover” as well as “The Gay Shoe Clerk,” which combines foot fetishes and homosexuality.
In this year, we get the post-apocalyptic porn “The Widow and the Only Man” and a milder piece, “Seashore Baby.”
This year brings us an early example of a “roughie,” “Athletic Girl and Burglar.”
Has two of the more outre titles, “The Tramp and the Mattress Makers” and “Mr. Butt-in.”
Has the lonely-hearts fantasy “Wife Wanted” and also the very naughty “Mrs Smithers’ Boarding School.”
The “Planter’s Wife” turns out to be busier than most would imagine, and “Why That Actor Was Late” is downright kinky, but perhaps the most extreme for this year is “Calamitous Elopement.”
Brings an explosion of smut, such as “The Welcome Burglar,” “Lucky Jim,” and “Two Women and a Man.” Marriage-fantasies had a big run, including “They Would Elope,” “His Wife’s Visitor,” and “Choosing a Husband.” Innocence lost is portrayed in “Sweet and Twenty” and “The Salvation Army Lass.” The fetishes are explored in “Leather Stocking,” while incest is exploited in “Eloping with Auntie” and my favorite title of the year, “Oh, Uncle!”
As the 10’s get started, we see another big year for risque flicks, including “Willful Peggy,” “Love among the Roses,” and “The Arcadian Maid.” Marriage is again a theme in “Taming a Husband” and “His Sister-in-Law.” And the theme of youthful innocence comes up in “Serious Sixteen” and “The Englishman and the Girl.”
We get two examples of girl-next-door fantasies this year with “Love in the Hills” and “Her Awakening,” and also how-to’s like “Winning Back His Love” and “Teaching Dad to Like Her.”
We come back to lesbian themes with “Two Daughters of Eve.” Two explorations of innocence occur in “The Schoolteacher and the Waif” and “The Girl and Her Trust.”
Sees a return to gay themes with “The Woman Haters” and “Two Men of the Desert.” The women aren’t left out either, in “The Telephone Girl and the Lady.” A very naughty title for the year is “A Ride for a Bride.” More fetishes in “Peeping Pete.” More straight themes are shown in “Love in an Apartment Hotel” and “The Little Tease.”
This may be the crowning year for dirty pictures, as we get the following:
Twenty Minutes of Love
Tillie’s Punctured Romance (ouch!)
Those Love Pangs
The Sea Nymph
A Robust Romeo
My Official Wife
Mabel’s Busy Day
His Trysting Place
A Flirt’s Mistake
Fatty’s Magic Pants
A Bath House Beauty
What a dirty year! I think I’ll need a shower…