The Hayseed (1919)

by popegrutch

This small-town comedy from Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle’s Comique Film Company once again takes various elements from earlier Arbuckle movies, and puts them in a blender with a whole bunch of new and improved gags from him and Buster Keaton, now a fully-fledged sidekick in the company.

The movie starts off by showing us the town general store (which has a large sign: “Why Go to the City to Be Ripped Off? Buy Here Instead”). Keaton is the store’s clerk and Arbuckle is the postman, who also operates out of the store. In an opening gag, Arbuckle is carrying a huge stack of mail and packages out to the buggy he uses for delivery, and he and Keaton collide, sending parcels everywhere. Then they start hitting each other with the discarded mail, until the store owner runs out and breaks it up. Arbuckle jumps in his jalopy and takes off, but most of the mail has been left behind. On his run, Arbuckle throws letters into boxes from a moving cart with remarkable accuracy, but when one is too big to go in the slot, he has to stop. He tries folding it, but it’s still too big so he rips it into small pieces to get it into the box.

Soon, he arrives at the home of his sweetheart (Molly Malone), and hand-delivers mail to her. He teases her about one letter, saying it must be a love letter, and they play a game of hide-and-seek. While Molly searches for Fatty he falls asleep; meanwhile, the town’s constable (John Henry Coogan) arrives at the house and begins flirting with her. Since Arbuckle is hiding in a hay bale, he gets prodded by the farmer when he comes by, and runs off, leaving Molly alone with the amorous policeman.

There’s a brief sequence of Keaton and Arbuckle working at the general store that’s reminiscent of earlier Comiques like “The Butcher Boy” and “His Wedding Night.” Arbuckle gets a call from a woman who wants to order Swiss cheese “with lots of holes.” Arbuckle looks at the slab and decides it needs more, so he takes out a drill and starts drilling new holes, wasting a certain amount of the cheese. Keaton observes Coogan stealing money from a registered letter. When he confronts him about it, Coogan first offers him part of the money, and when Keaton won’t accept it, warns him to stay silent or he’ll kill him. Keaton appears cowed by the sheriff’s threat.

Malone happens to be in the store when a spinster is showing off her engagement ring, and tells Arbuckle she wants one. He immediately orders an imitation diamond ring and a new suit, using the Swiss cheese to measure Malone’s finger and sending a pickle the same size as her finger in the envelope with the order. The sheriff shows up with a real ring, bought with his ill-gotten gains, but Arbuckle’s fake ring appears more to Malone’s liking (maybe because it fits perfectly). Keaton gets into a war with Coogan and the store owner when he throws a bucket of water off the roof. It ends with him on a ladder precariously perched, but managing to fall right into Arbuckle’s buggy as he drives by.

That night at the store, which has been converted into a dance hall, Fatty and Molly dance while Buster entertains the crowd with magic tricks. Fatty is due to sing to the crowd; however, his voice gives out, so Buster persuades him to eat some onions to strengthen his voice. The onions have the desired effect, but they also make his breath so pungent that it causes the entire audience to cry. The sheriff now accuses Arbuckle of stealing the money from the envelope, and everyone he turns to for support turns away, thanks to his onion breath. Keaton then informs them that it was Coogan, not Arbuckle, who stole the money. As a scuffle ensues, Fatty sics Luke the Dog on the crooked official; and the sheriff runs out of town with the dog in hot pursuit. In the film’s closing scene, Fatty and Fanny prepare to celebrate their relationship with a kiss, but she initially refuses to kiss him due to his lingering bad breath. He suggests that she eat some onions too in order to cancel out the effect.

I have to admit that I groaned a little when the movie opened on yet another general store, but not much time is spent on gags involving the store or its customers. In fact, the opening sequence borrowed more from “Fatty and Mabel’s Simple Life,” which is one we haven’t seen much of since. The pacing of this movie is quite high – I get the impression that Keaton and Arbuckle were spending days thinking of every gag they could cram into each new movie – and yet it manages to keep the audience engaged with the story line. There’s less of an obvious “divide” here between reels than in some of the earlier movies which sometimes were almost two shorter films for the price of one. And, for Keaton fans, there’s quite a bit of him in this picture, even though Arbuckle is still the star.

Director: Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle

Camera: Elgin Lessley

Starring: Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle, Buster Keaton, Molly Malone, John Henry Coogan, Luke the Dog

Run Time: 27 Min

You can watch it for free: here.

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